Wednesday, November 02, 2005, 14:28
i seem to be at war with the postal system. whereas the really important things, like my income papers, obviously never reached the bureau of finances, and i now am in need of retrieving all of them or fill them in all over again, i yesterday made the mistake of opening two letters and found myself on the watchlist of my health insurance, ominously stating that i would not get any more insurance money, since i had not paid the necessary fees to the artists social cassa – all the way i wondered, why no one had informed me in time, at all or in error.

it comes even better: it seems now, that i have to take money, on credit, from my bank, in order to pay the artists insurance, so that they pay health insurance, so that they pay my sickness money, which again covers than my bank credit. if you do not believe it, read again.

that is germany. and of course, i will do as i am told. i´ll feed this circle, trying not to breathe. fun, is it?

i get the impression that any authority can just send you any letter with any sum, that you usually owe, and you do not have the slightest idea why you should owe them, but you have to pay them alright. it is this a phenomenon that leaves me wondering on the efficiency of some of the insurance businesses indeed. they seem never to pay, and so why should i pay them? why, indeed? i know.

it seems to be the only prove that i exist. four institutions, feeding themselves. i seem to disturb tham a bit. i think it is really better to dissapear altogether. is i not? perhaps, if i would never have been born, these institutions would not be able to exist. cogito ergo sum? no: i pay, therefore i am.