Tuesday, November 01, 2005, 16:49
i shudder at the thought of having forgotten during a long emotional ice age most nerves in my body that seem to have slept in a long, long winter. i happened to encounter a new lover in rather unexpected a fashion, and i swear that i had not the slightest intention of getting into any situation, and suddenly i was kissed on the mouth in a subway-car as farewell and there i sat and nearly fainted with sudden desire and the instant relevation that obviously in spite of seven years of my last relationship i had completely forgotten how it was to be kissed in public, not to speak of being SEDUCED (in numbers: 6!) in private somewhat later.
perhaps i should repeat what i stated only a second ago: i have been seduced. artfully, reasonably, romantically, casanova-like. it was heaven, it was a relevation, it was paradise. and it was rather sporty, i must say.
it is interesting to note, that the seduced in the best case does not even realize what is happening to him. he sits perhaps on a sofa, drinks a glass of white wine, and all of a sudden asks himself why he stares into the others green eyes out of the blue, as if nothing else ever mattered.
a sofa is VITAL for the art of seduction, since it gives the ideal opportunity to get nearer to each other in no time and in rather reasonable time. DO NOT APPROACH THE VICTIM TOO FAST! it might flee, or retreat, or even worse, relent at once, and then the fun of seduction is totally spoiled.
be a good kisser! approach carefully, look into your counterparts eyes, smile serenely and make soothing noises. then kiss.
a good kisser never stops
DO NOT OPEN THE MOUTH! not at the first kiss at least. french kissing is a high art form, only mastered by some very rare people. like me, for example. one tip: try to kiss a mirror, as if you were kissing yourself. when after one hour you have slobbered against cold glass enough and you have sexually aroused your reflection (and WITHOUT USING YOUR TONGUE!) you may proceed to step two.
Step TWO: forget it. there is no rule for step two. either there is a bolt of lighting hitting both of you, you entangle your limbs into a trembling and sighing vortex, a maelstrom of mutual meetings, on and on, again and again, blissful, tender, right – or there isn´t. if there isn´t start again with the couch, the white wine, the staring, the compliments, the approaching and the KISS.
after three failed times abort the mission, burn ships, delete your memory and pray for the best.
with me it was an instant success (of course) and i can happily report that i seem again to be on the circuit, eagerly awaiting new attempts of seduction by anyone who might tempt me and might be tempted. being both a prussian protestant´s and a hungarian catholic´s only son, i delight in seduction, since my morals would not allow my senses to yield, and my senses are in themselves without morale, being, as they are, senselessly sensible. i do declare that to overcome this paradox i have no other chance than to be seduced. and if, in my case, i seduce someone myself whith the simple secret weapon of signalling that I would like to be seduced – here it gets tricky, i know – nothing can go wrong. i assure you. and if not, sue me. or better, seduce me.
