Friday, October 28, 2005, 17:55

i attended the 65th birthday of a friends father yesterday, where the buffet nearly outranked the illustrous guests – i had the pleasure of bringing to girls to it, both drawing the admiration of the male guests, somewhat aging businessmen and clubmembers of the most famous tennis courts in hamburg. it was interesting to see, how the party split immediately into politics, some heavy debating was on on the smokers balcony, whereas the ladies withdrew into the dining room and talked the newest hamburg gossip. not much new to be reported there, i am afraid, most of the talked about were unknown to me or went by there nicknames only. two gentlemen raided the kitchen and the sushi were done with in no time, sauvignon blanc was de rigeur and i emptied my mobiles battery in taking flashlight photographs of guests chatting away. the german recession seemed miles away, no wonder, as most attendees were safely settled in their businesses and bank accounts respectively. i felt somewhat the stranger, being the youngest guest, but felt cordially at ease with some senior guests, who nevertheless talked on in their political discussions, not heeding my remarks very much, fearing perhaps my rather socialist views. it is remarkable, how the young seem not to be listened to, not forming part of their circle, and i grew a bit agitated, since i consider myself to be rather well informed, but to no avail: most standpoints were seemded to me rather unfounded and not really the news, but obviously that was not the issue. it was social talk, mainly, and i found a group happily exchanging trivialities on smoking and smoking habits, a theme perhaps safe enough to be conversed about, though rather boring indeed. the host was too happy to remark on this and i did my utmost to smooth over the opposing parties, but i lost a bit of my illusions about the effectiveness of social gatherings – if one has strong opinions, one should not divulge in them, lest one finds oneself isolated or happily ridiculed in the end. the weather was perfect, the temperature following the heated exchanges of two men, who luckily held different views on the situation in the country – but i had the strong impression that really not much did matter to them, and indeed not my musings about the government. i declined to be frustrated by this, but asked myself in the end, having some more champagne, why one attends such parties. is it to feel the comfort of being among people of the same opinion? was it a situation representing perhaps the general german atmosphere, much hot air and nothing else? i yearned for my student days, when everything seemed so important and my fellow students wanted to change the world. now they are all settled in their jobs and seem to be no longer interested in anything, apart from their golf clubs and yachts, their clubs and families, their positions and possible tax deductions. is this old age? is this expecting me, an ongoing dinnerparty of no consequence, an endless play without ups and downs, where some of the actors dissapear due to illnesses and deaths and leave nothing behind? i try to break this up ususally by cunning remarks but sometimes feel like a court jester, whom nobody takes in earnest, fueling the ball by insolence and a sharp tongue, unheeded by men of age or importance. did i leave any impression, apart from being well bred and well versed?

the next morning i slept long and felt drained. it was a fun party all right, but where was the point? or should one simply be happy and content with the fact that there were no more pressing problems than the bygone eras, political issues long forgotten and marriages in their death throes? am i too unrealistic, again expecting too much? another chardonnay might help, perhaps…