Aus gegebenem Anlass…Who the Hell is Sarah Palin? And what about the mooses? By our political correspondent Harald Nicolas Stazol

Alaska, 5th of September 2008

It seems nowadays that it is rather easy to become President of the United States – as a Vice President Elect you are, as they say, „only a heartbeat away“ from office – and in the case of Mrs. Sarah Palin, 44, currently Gouvernour of Alaska and since August 29 John McCains choice as his Vice Presidential Runner (after having met her only once, one might add), it seems that she stands a fair chance of becoming the first female President of the United States. After all McCain is 72, suffers from skin cancer, was tortured in Vietnam – and anything might happen. It is rather astounding that Palin´s so-called „political experience“ amounts to nothing, indeed, one must say: Her career began as Mayor of Wasilla, a city of 7025 inhabitants, from 1996 to 2002, where she had the say over 25 policemen, an impressing figure perhaps in Alaska, four times the size of Germany and of a population of 683000 (comparable to the Mayorship of Frankfurt, I daresay…), but is this enough to be, should times get awry and McCain suffers a stroke, the First-of-Command of the troops oft the largest superpower in the world? And suddenly we are in the depths of her biography so far (on Wikipwedia nearly updated by the hour): She admits to having smoked Marihuana, but „not having enjoyed it. She is a supporting member of the National Rifle Association – she has shot Moose with her father from a very young age, before school in the early mornings. She is against abortion, same-sex-marriages, runs Marathons, was Miss Wasilla in 1984 and second in the race for Miss Alaska somewhat later, which either is a sign of the usual bad taste for women that Americans worldwide seem to prefer, or shows the lack of attractive women in the utmost North of the U.S. – and a surprising achievement in any case, seeing the hairdo that she sports, resembling a renaissance cupola at best – or, again, a lack of competent Hairdressers up there in the cold. One might add that, obviously unbeknownst to McCain, she was a member of a group that supported the separation of Alaska from the U.S., a surprising fact in my opinion. She was the leader of prayer at her basketball team, played rather intense, they say, earning her the nickname „Sarah Barracuda“. As Mayor, she cut property taxes by 40 %, was against a bigger library (what?) and shortly tried to ban certain books (does this sound, for a German, strangely familiar?). One cannot really call her a Wildlife Protectionist. Global Warming? „I´m not the one though who would attribute it to being man-made.“ Beluga Whales? She opposes strengthening of their protection in Alsaka`s Cook Inlet, where oil and gas development has been proposed. Did I mention that her husband, her high school love, whom she eloped with, works for British Petroleum? To be fair, one must add that she was Commissioner of the Alaska Oil and Gas Conservation Commission from 2003 to 2004, resigning in January 2004 in protest over what she called the „lack of ethics“ of fellow Republican Members – but: protecting the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge? Palin strongly promotes oil and gas resource development there (good bye, you mooses…). Wolves? Were, during her support for the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, allowed to be hunted from helicopters – to increase the remaining moose populations (the ones, presumably, who survive her oil and gas programm) – a practice that only ended on August 26 2008 by a public vote. Ok, she reduced her salary to 125000 $ per year and sold the Governor´s Westwind II jet on Ebay. „Individual freedom and independence is extremely important to me“, she says – apparently not for minors, as she backs abstinence only education and is against „explicit sex-ed programs“ in schools. Apparently she failed – one of her five children, her 17 year old daughter, is pregnant, but it would be of bad taste to mention it (apparently, I do…). A judical team sent to Alaska by McCain to scan Palin´s backround seems to have overlooked the fact that she obviously tried to use her powers to fire the public state safety commisioner, Walt Monegan, after he didn´t fire her sister´s ex-husband, a certain Mike Wooten – for shooting a moose. Palin is now the subject of a state ethics investigation, one has to say. Oh the wildlife, I forget: Salmons? She opposes their protection from potential contamination from mining. Grizzlys? One shot by her father serves as a sofa-blanket in her office. Polar Bears? Are, in her opinion, not an endangered species. Colleagues? „She doesn´t like being told no.“ – says Lyda Green, State Senate president of Alaska. Pipelines? A 500 Million $ subsidy to TransCanada, to build the latest one (what about the moose?) Elections? Ok, she won the race for governour by a vote of 48,3 %, is the first female on that post and the youngest of Alaskan history. Foreign affairs knowledge? She aquired a passport, travelled to Canada, Germany and another country, which is so insignificant, that I can´t remeber it, to visit some Alaskan Group, whose name and purpose I have plainly forgotten.. Iraq? „I want to know that we have an exit plan“ – well don´t we all? And, finally, what do the town residents of Wasilla think of her former mayor (that was only six years ago, to be plain) runnig for the vice presidency? Jamie Newman, the deputy city clerk: „Frankly, everyone is in shock.“ I don´t blame them, frankly. And what does Palin herself say to all this? „Some of life´s greatest opportunities come unexpectedly.“ Now, frankly, I am the one who is shocked.

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